His Light in Our Darkness

Sometimes it helps me to think of the Church as being one big “Sinners Anonymous” gathering. We’re all sinners, whether we are “sinning” at the moment or not. It’s who we are. When we admit that we can’t do anything about it and that we need God to get us through the next minute without sinning, we are not left helpless to wallow in our sinfulness, but are finally at a point where we can begin to live our lives with some clarity and purpose.

Sin can be intoxicating and disguise itself so well that we may not realize how close we are until we’re already in it. That’s where God’s eternal grace comes in. Each time we admit our relapse, we just start fresh, learn from our mistakes, and grow in wisdom and strength. Not a single one of us is without sin. Because we all face the same struggle, we can be each other’s strength in weakness.

God is holy. We, on the other hand, are not. If we say we’re Christians but our lives showcase our will over his, we’re only fooling ourselves. If we think we’re righteous because we’re basically good people or at least more good than not, we are sadly mistaken. And if we find no fault in ourselves, we are liars. The misperception that a person redeemed in Christ instantly becomes a good, upstanding, flawless human being who only becomes an increasingly better and purer human being as their faith journey unfolds is a dangerous fantasy. Yes, we are redeemed. Yes, we are being made new in Christ. But we are still human—we will stumble and fall and sometime we will intentionally run in the opposite direction of God’s will all throughout our lives. However, if we’re honest about and confess our sinfulness, God will forgive us which is why we can approach our Heavenly Father without fear of condemnation because Jesus has redeemed us, stripping our unrighteousness from us and covering us in his own holiness even as our humanness continues to crave the very substance of our ruin and separation from our God and Creator.

Inevitably that craving overcomes us and we give in. We turn away from God because we want what we want more than we want what God desires and deserves—that, my dear friends, is the essence of sin. At some point the guilt and shame of our sinfulness overwhelms us leaving us with a choice:  We can either run farther away from God into sin to numb the shame and guilt that eats at us, or we can come out of hiding and face God and the truth of our own sinfulness that is all too apparent in his holy presence.

In these moments of conviction and in the repentance that follow we might approach God in a debasing guilt-ridden display, hoping our remorseful return might elicit some small amount of God’s compassion and forgiveness. Even though we’re assured that God is anxiously waiting to welcome us into his open arms as his beloved children with an inexhaustible grace, we too often insist on trying to earn God’s forgiveness with amends or good deeds. I’m not saying we shouldn’t try to rectify the consequences of our sinfulness but that we need to be absolutely clear that it is God’s amazing grace in his own act of redemption on the cross alone that ushers us back into his loving embrace and not any acts of contrition we might perform in hopes of redemption.

We can never earn God’s grace and yet we sometimes fall into the self-righteous trap of feeling that we must somehow work for it or suffer for our sinfulness in some way instead of humbly accepting this truly undeserved gift and reciprocating to it in gratitude and joy. Why do we do that? Maybe because our ways are not God’s way and if we were God, we’d expect someone to pay for what they’ve done to earn their redemption. It’s only fair—you do the crime, you pay the penalty. We just can’t wrap our minds around the concept of grace. We know that nothing good is ever free and if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. We expect to fight and claw our way out of our shame and back into God’s good graces. If we haven't “done the time” for our sin, we feel we don't deserve God's grace.....and really, that's the point. We don't deserve God's grace! Never have. Never will. 

God loved us before the world existed. From the very beginning, we were in his heart and he carefully created each of us to be the unique individuals we are. With great joy, his heart is drawn to watch over us. He diminished himself to our small, fragile form in the person of Jesus Christ to interact with us in a way we could understand and respond to. His Spirit is always with us guiding us. Even when we stubbornly follow our own will and not his, he doesn’t hate us or turn away from us. Rather he aches to welcome us back into his arms with joy. God’s love for us is so deep and true and perfect that even as the consequences of our sin unfolds, as eternal death and separation bears down on us like a Mack truck, Jesus runs out in front, pushing us out of the way to safety, and takes our place in death on the cross. By his sacrifice, he's paid the penalty for our sin and separated it from us as far as the east is from the west. God’s grace held our sin against his Son Jesus instead of us so that we could be together with him forever.

We only need to believe it. It's that simple. Believe. Our human pride may shout, "It can't be that simple!" But really it is. It's just hard. It's hard to believe and admit we don't have control over our lives. It's hard to give a God we can't fully comprehend, explain, or manipulate, authority over our entire existence. It's hard to admit that we are insufficient or lacking in anyway.

I’ve compared sin to addiction, but it’s so much more. Sin entered the world and permeated the very soul of mankind like radiation from a nuclear bomb. I grew up in the 70s and early 80s at the end of the cold war. Unlike my parents’ generation, we knew that hiding under our desks or in some backyard reinforced cement hole in the ground wasn't going to protect us when a nuclear bomb went off. If we were lucky enough to live far enough away from the blast zone, we wouldn’t instantly burn to ashes, but the radiation would contaminate the environment and any survivors on a molecular level forever mutating whatever lives. The sinfulness that entered the world with the bomb of that first sinful act is like radiation that forever mutated the soul of mankind. 

To think that we could eradicate sinfulness from our hearts by simply trying not to sin is foolish. Or that we can purge our sin with a balance sheet of good and bad acts is simply absurd. Only God can make clean what sin has stained and he did that in the Person of Jesus who died on the cross for us to satisfy God’s justice. Jesus rose from the dead unraveling the bonds of sin that restrain us. In the mystery of God’s power and grace, he redeems us and is transforming the very fabric of our souls from dark dungeons of sinfulness into holy temples of his Presence. He is in our hearts from the first moment of salvation, but the renewing and the transformation of our souls is a lifetime endeavor. God in us is eradicating the old and creating the new every day. And that is what we celebrate on Christmas – the coming of His light into our darkness.