3 Wishes and a Realization

 Be careful what you wish for. You may just get it. It’s the moral of many fables and fairy tales that teach us that wishes fulfilled too often come with unforeseen and unwanted twists and consequences. There are three times in my life that I remember experiencing the reality of this warning. In my early 20s, before I knew Jesus, I was a young mother in an abusive relationship and we never had enough money to meet even our basic needs. I remember writing a wish list in my journal of all the things I wanted that once I had, I would consider myself successful and happy. They were simple things really; a house of my own, two cars, one for me and one for him, and us making enough money to be able to pay the bills on time and maybe even take a vacation to the beach one year. Several years later, I had a kinder, more supportive husband and all of the things on my list, even the beach vacation, and still I wasn’t happy. Those things didn’t fulfill me the way I thought they would. I had everything I thought I wanted and still I was empty. I would find out later that only God can fill the need I was trying to satisfy with all the stuff.

Around the same time, one of my hobbies was quilting. I knew two types of quilters—those who had sewing rooms and those who envied those who had sewing rooms. Like those who didn’t, I had plans to turn my child’s bedroom into my very own sewing room someday. After my son’s untimely death, I did turn his room into my sewing room but it was bittersweet and every time some quilter expressed her envy over my sewing room, I felt a little sad.

Last week I was telling someone about how active and social my mother was when I was a child. My mother was involved in everything and knew at least one person everywhere we went. Then 23 years ago she and my dad moved away from her friend network and she became more of a hermit over the years withdrawing to the point of not even wanting to go out with me. When my family moved her into assisted living, we were hopeful she would make new friends and get involved in activities again but, try as hard as we might, we couldn’t convince her to get involved. She was stubborn and willful and only wanted to be alone in her room. Now Alzheimer’s has taken her memory and changed her personality, made her more pliable and susceptible to suggestion so she is joining in on activities just the way we had hoped. But I can’t help thinking that she isn’t really the strong, iron-willed, stubborn woman I’ve known and looked up to all my life.

In contemplating all of this I’ve come to the conclusion that achieving my desires may bring some joy for a time but they can never satisfy my soul or make me complete. The unforeseen costs and consequences of the fulfilled desire may also taint the joy I derive so maybe being content with the many blessings I already have is the key to the happiness I’m looking for. Even if I get everything I ever wanted in this life, it’s not going to fill the emptiness in my soul and any happiness it may bring will only be fleeting without God at the center of my life. Without God, no matter how many wishes come true for me in life, I will never be truly happy or satisfied. There will always be something else I crave. So maybe if I’m wishing for anything other than a deeper relationship with God, I’m wishing for the wrong thing.