It’s been a long, full week and decided to treat myself to
Chinese take-out Sunday afternoon. My fortune cookie yielded forth the
following bit of wisdom: It’s better to
light one small candle than to curse the darkness. I laughed out loud when I
read it because this tiny slip of paper so elegantly summed up what God taught
me through the adversity I faced last week.
Someone I love treated me with complete disregard for my
well-being for their own selfish personal gain last week. I was angry and hurt.
Now I’m just angry. (If you are worried that you may have somehow done this
terrible thing to me without realizing it…don’t. It’s not you. Unfortunately,
this person will never realize nor understand the transgression.) Before you
start taking sides, you must know that while the encounter may have been shrouded
in conflict, a most worthy and ultimately greater purpose was at the heart of
the whole matter.
I was and am angry at being subjected to this injustice and
because of the relationship—having no recourse but to endure it instead of
walking away or placing my own selfish attitude above theirs. So I turned to
God and spent a lot of time in prayer last week asking God to take my anger and
help me to do the right thing. Even though I may have been right to be angry,
that doesn’t mean I have to be. If I am to follow Jesus’ example, who has every
right to judge and condemn me for my selfishness and transgressions and yet
sets aside his anger and hurt on a regular basis to extend to me his perfect
love and undeserved grace, I must do the same.
When we have been wronged, we may not have control over the
circumstances, but we do have complete control over how we will respond. Will
we lash out in retribution? Will we hold a righteous grudge? Or will we, like
Jesus has done for us through the cross and on a daily basis, choose to let go
of the offense and reach out in love and grace? Don’t get me wrong—this is
hard! It’s near impossible. But it is what Jesus did and what he calls his
followers to do. No, Jesus doesn’t want us to be doormats. (He never was.) What
Jesus desires is that we take the light of his Presence in our hearts and our
lives and radiate that into the darkness of evil and sin. The power of sin is
strong, but not invincible for just as darkness is defeated by the light of one
single candle, so sin has been forever and is now defeated by the light of God’s
love and grace through Christ.
But wait! Didn’t I admit to still being angry. Well I am and
admitting it is a healthy first step to letting it go and moving on. When I
think about it and the enemy tempts me to hold onto my anger (allowing it to
fester inside) I run to God in prayer asking him to take the anger from me. I
picture in my head molding that anger into a ball and holding it up to Jesus. He
then takes it from my hands, and replaces it with a masterpiece of his light,
love and grace of his own making to share with those who have offended and hurt
me. I determine to do this every time I feel the anger towards another human
being until God has changed me in the process giving me the power to pray for
the good of the one who has hurt me. Now I don’t do it perfectly and more time
than I like to admit, I refuse to give up my anger. It’s mine and I have a
right to it!! But, then I repent and begin the process over again until God’s
grace defeats the ill-will in my heart. Why do I keep trying? Two reasons: 1)
In following Christ’s example, I must and 2) how else will the evil men and
women of the world see the light of Christ if not in me.
3 comments:
An excellent expression of this message and idea.
Thanks for sharing this struggle with us Maureen. It's true, we expect Him to easily and quickly get over his anger with us...but we're not so willing to give up our own anger at others. Thanks for making me think!
You words "we begin the process over again" speaks to my aching, angry spirit. I have hope.
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